Awaiting America’s Great Chocolate Soap Opera

woman biting chocolate barThomas Marshall, America’s 28th vice president and one-time Indiana governor, may be remembered for nothing except for stating his belief that “what America needs is a good five-cent cigar.” But he is remembered.

In that spirit, let the CAC suggestion go forth unto the interwebs that “what American needs is unlimited segments of a good five-minute chocolate-themed soap opera.” Hopefully it will get us remembered, or, more importantly, spark some quality entertainment for those downtimes between choco-bites. This is not to ignore the work already done in this area from the beginning of telenovela Dame Chocolate (Give Me Chocolate)

to the end of its too-short life.

We also do not want to ignore the Brazilian competition, Chocolate com Pimenta (Pepper Chocolate), revolving around work and dreams at a chocolate factory, instead of Dame’s chocolate shop.

It’s just that we’re haven’t found what works for our customers. (Admittedly, there was a 2009, weak-tea, LA-themed attempt: Google if you must.) Taken as we are with the faux behind Broadway scenes Submissions Only and with the concept of free-video possibilities ever-changed by Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog — discoverable, too, in free versions — it just seems like the time is right, now and for the foreseeable future, for a comedy-drama celebration of the fruit of the cacao tree and how some particularly melodramatic acolytes can be imagined to behave.

C’mon content creators!

We’ll take the time awaiting this breakthrough to create some appropriate snacking and adapt The Great British Soap Opera Cake. This recipe was whipped together as part of a British reality-show cooking competition. Its French-Joconde-cake-inspired ingredients and directions provide intriguing twists and turns (e.g., five eggs and five additional egg whites in the cake base with the remaining yokes saved for the icing) as will, hopefully, make their way into the The Great American Chocolat-Themed Soap Opera.

Let’s get inspired.

We’ll Be Celebrating Ixcacao-Ween

HALLOWEEN is a holiday of cheap chocolate and the heartache (and headaches) it brings. Admittedly not fair, but we blame the great pumpkin.

Well, not actually Linus Van Pelt’s wonderful vision. We love him.

The blame falls to the distorted vision of what Halloween and pumpkin and chocolate could be. This should be the perfect holiday to celebrate the great Mayan goddess of chocolate, Ixcacao []. In that spirit, the folks in the back room are working on the The Goddess Ixcacao Cake we’ll be featuring while everyone else is running around in silly superhero and princess costumes in pursuit of dark, empty calories.

Although there will be no post of the final recipe (come on in for a piece or a whole cake), but an on-the-way-there prototype was composed as follows:


  • 3 eggs
  • 1 cup stevia
  • 1/2 cup honey
  • 1/2 cup vegetable oil
  • 1/2 cup pureed pumpkin
  • 2/3 cup dark chocolate melted.
  • 2/3 cup plain flour
  • 1/2 cup crushed pecans (optional glazed with cinammon)
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda


  • 2 tbsp. hot water
  • 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 2 ounces (1/2 stick) unsalted butter at room temperature
  • 3/4 cup confectionary sugar

Pre-heat the oven to 350F .
Grease nine-inch cake pan.
Whisk eggs in mixing bowl.
Pour in sugar and continue beating.
Continue mixing and slowly add oil
Add pumpkin.
Add melted chocolate
In separate bowl mix flour, baking powder, baking soda and pecans.
Fold in chocolate mixture.
Pour into cake pan.
Bake 70 minutes. Between 50 and 60 minutes check to see if top is becoming crusty and needs an aluminum foil hat to keep from burning.

Remove from oven. Cool 10 minutes. Ice.

Mix hot water and cocoa powder.
Beat the butter and slowly add sugar.
Add cocoa paste, beat until well mixed.
Let sit at room temperature until ready to ice.